Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
