I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
