Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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