the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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