chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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