Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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