If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
