i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
3pm strippers are depressing
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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