Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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