dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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