and you said cock pushups were impossible
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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