They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms