Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Have you finally orgasmed yet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Have you finally orgasmed yet? http://tfl.nu/pxlw
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (592) Bad night (1729)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch

  (740): View more from Ohio

  enter at your own risk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch (740): enter at your own risk http://tfl.nu/z8ud
  Replies (5) Good night (2502) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd
  Replies (15) Good night (1578) Bad night (2479)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture http://tfl.nu/ttvt
  Replies (46) Good night (622) Bad night (2915)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica
  Replies (16) Good night (1170) Bad night (3792)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.

  (210): View more from Texas

  i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass" (570): hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge. (210): i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you. http://tfl.nu/8941
  Replies (23) Good night (5731) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues http://tfl.nu/8qyh
  Replies (22) Good night (4593) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall http://tfl.nu/7d2k
  Replies (18) Good night (1741) Bad night (4256)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole. http://tfl.nu/9iug
  Replies (17) Good night (1349) Bad night (3253)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux. http://tfl.nu/a54h
  Replies (5) Good night (1909) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think http://tfl.nu/9wa8
  Replies (15) Good night (1356) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case? http://tfl.nu/t5hu
  Replies (4) Good night (744) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW http://tfl.nu/48d7
  Replies (8) Good night (790) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier http://tfl.nu/yoel
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (252)

Randomize