Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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  (310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6
  Replies (4) Good night (741) Bad night (2213)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3348) Bad night (978)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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  (252): I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son. http://tfl.nu/kdpy
  Replies (27) Good night (8276) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie

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  (260): I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie http://tfl.nu/6pmw
  Replies (5) Good night (1299) Bad night (3299)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.

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  (434): I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever. http://tfl.nu/fuow
  Replies (15) Good night (5775) Bad night (1389)
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  (408): View more from California

  This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

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  (408): This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady. http://tfl.nu/u3v1
  Replies (8) Good night (4252) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Champagne is a vitamin, right?

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  (904): Champagne is a vitamin, right? http://tfl.nu/gkox
  Replies (4) Good night (2339) Bad night (1041)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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  (717): We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be http://tfl.nu/zpkd
  Replies (0) Good night (1204) Bad night (604)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.

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  (304): I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me. http://tfl.nu/6i2r
  Replies (6) Good night (2579) Bad night (540)
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  (631): View more from New York

  His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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  (631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/4eyt
  Replies (13) Good night (503) Bad night (1998)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.

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  (727): He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life. http://tfl.nu/pdok
  Replies (12) Good night (732) Bad night (1232)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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  (914): Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless http://tfl.nu/meln
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.

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  (646): I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands. http://tfl.nu/f9cd
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (963)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.

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  (202): He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot. http://tfl.nu/ubxb
  Replies (3) Good night (480) Bad night (1333)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I fill condoms, not promises.

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  (812): I fill condoms, not promises. http://tfl.nu/fzpc
  Replies (4) Good night (1502) Bad night (548)

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