i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.