Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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