that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize