3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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