Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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