I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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