So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I FOUND THE LEGS
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize