if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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