So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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