well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
