My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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