she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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