Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
