How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The air was thick with penises
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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