ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
