Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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