And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
