Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
