my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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