So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
