we have officially mastered the walk of shame
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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