Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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