I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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