The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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