VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
