hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize