Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
