It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
