found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
