Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I feel like a drive thru vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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