I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
