Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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