apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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