So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
