I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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