my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
