You're so nebulous sometimes
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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