I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
