Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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