Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?