you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?