i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
