Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes