people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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