if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize