If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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