If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
