so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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