Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
May the power of my ass compel you!!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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