The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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