We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Drunk is a universal language darling
Your penis caused this!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
