wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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