I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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