I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
