Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
