Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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