I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize