Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
