lets start a swedish sibling band together
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
